So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There r osticjed everywhere
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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