I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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