I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
