i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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