he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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