God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Floor bacon is actually really good
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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