I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
