Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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