Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
