then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
