Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
