I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have aggressive nipples.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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