Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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