Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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