If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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