Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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