just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
