I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
