She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
