You made me cry and you don't even care
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
