my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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