You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
