you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
