Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
