my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
