none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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