either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
