I think I won the penis lottery.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
