she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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