Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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