You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
