Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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