When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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