I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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