And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
