he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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