i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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