Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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