Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
