So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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