just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
tell me about the eggs
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