Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
