You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
