mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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