worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
