Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Plan B is the new Plan A
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
