so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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