So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
