areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
