things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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