Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
